Monday, March 03, 2008

Singularly stinky Sunday.

Above: my front garden, awash in oxalis (the yellow blooms.)
Yesterday was NOT a nice day for my fibro body.

Was it withdrawal from the previous medication i stopped taking last Monday? Was it simply that the new medication needs to be kicked up a few notches? i don't know.

All i do know is that all the nasty pain from the previous week culminated in exhaustion and crankiness from the pain--added to the actual pain itself, which was bad enough. It was one of those "oyster" days where i just wanted to curl up into the fetal position and ignore the world. My dear hubby said, "I wish I could help! What if you sat in the hot tub for a while? I'll go get it ready." He did, and i did.

When i feel that lousy, it's actually hard to get myself to do the things that might make me feel better, so it helped for him to encourage me to. On those oyster days my spirit droops into neverending winter, and feels as though spring will never come. In actuality, here in the lovely California Bay Area, we are having amazingly warm and beautiful weather. Trees are budding, flowers are blooming, and the oxalis has overtaken my yard. In some parts of the country i think people plant it on purpose for ground cover, here it is a weed. Appearance of this weed-flower signals the approach of spring (and the need for extreme weeding.) And yet, in my oyster days, all is dark and bleak and flowerless.

i put on my swimsuit and lowered myself painfully into the hot tub--lovely warmth that encompasses my sore body, and takes the pressure off for a bit. But the bleakness accompanied me. As i lay there, i caught the movement of something above my head--a butterfly! Black with bright gold tipped wings, it made its crazy way across the yard, causing me to look up and see the clear blue sky and the signs of life budding on my poplar tree. And then a small chirping bird, and another butterfly! Spring was coming!

It was as if God was reminding me: "Spring will always come, there will always be life after the dark of winter."

It may come in the form of a beautiful yellow flower that i have not been able to kill in the nearly 30 years we've lived in this house, or the more preferred appearance of butterflies, but it does come. On oyster days that is something i need to remember.


Silliyak said...

Lovely picture. I think we can beat you on bulk however (oxlyis)

julia said...

NO WAY! Really?? i started to include a picture of the entire front lawn area covered in oxalis, but it was too depressing. ;-) Plus, we have a pretty small yard, anyway, so it's not as bad as non-postage-stamp sized yards!

Silliyak said...

Ooooh A LINK! I'm moved. I would have emailed the following, but you don't have an email button.
I hope this doesn't seem stalkerish, but you mentioned east bay et al, so I figured out that I was an engineer in your fire dept. Although your nearest station was never my assigned station, I worked there and other CV stations often. My last assigned station was in the Palomares hills which is at the other end of town, but still, small world eh?

julia said...

THAT is COOL!! So then you already know Half Moon Bay too ;-)

Did you ever know a Rich Ferguson in the fire department? i think he was in San Leandro before he retired, and i don't know how much you all know each other. And then my dad being a firefighter (he drove the fire engine) for something like 30 years in Oregon, well, how cool is all that!

Palomares is a nice area--one we will never be able to afford. ;-) We're down in the flatlands of CV, near the high school.

An email button? hmmm...something else i don't know how to do!

julia said...

--And yes, VERY small world...

Silliyak said...

I don't know Rich well, but we have met. He does a newsletter for the retirees,
I worked in Dublin before they consolidated in '97.

Lea Ann said...

It was as if God was reminding me: "Spring will always come, there will always be life after the dark of winter."

As if? I don't believe in coincidince when it comes to things like this. I do believe God always has His eye on us and actively sends earthly comfort our way to help us remember He is with us. He never said there would not be bad stuff, but He did promise to always walk with us. Especially during Lent I am reminded that Jesus experienced every crappy thing that humans experience (and worse), so He always truly understands. God bless my cousin Courtney Dean too for helping you begin to find your way out of this misery that I can't even imagine.

Flowers are beautiful! Does not look like a weed to me!!!

Unknown said...

Hugs atcha my dear "Sis Queenie". I am sure that you looked quite lovely laying back in the hot tub with the crown jewels upon your head watching the butterfly as he enlightens you of God's Promises. I keep you in my prayers and heart that you will find the miracle fix for your pain. When you hurt, you know I can feel your pain...

julia said...

Yes, Jo, i know you can feel it, quite literally, right? How's your bad sleeping going? Any help on that?

Lea Ann, it was a lovely moment, and i'm with you about God, He's much more in tune to me than i usually allow myself to be to him (unfortunately.) Amazing what happens when i shut up and listen. ;-) And the weeds at least are pretty when they're blooming (and seeding all over ours and the whole block's yards....)