Sunday, August 13, 2006

Tivo-ing my life, & other pipe-dreams

i will admit, Tivo is one cool invention--finally it's worth paying for television! Not only can i search for an interest--say, scrapbooking, or Hugh Laurie--i can see all the upcoming shows fitting my request, select which ones i want recorded, or even set up a "Season Pass" so i don't miss ANY episodes of "House" or "Scrapbook Memories." (Yep, i know those are really different things--what can i say, i'm complicated--) And THEN--i can pause, i can skip commercials, i can go back and hear what i missed House saying in his American accent (which begs the question, if he's English and plays an American, is it an American guy playing the English doctor?) If i have a temporary brain-fade i can replay the last bit on a scrapbooking technique, or i can speed-watch an entire episode i don't find very interesting (but i NEVER speed-watch "House"!) It's great. No searching frantically for an empty videotape at the last minute, no watching the same irritating car commercial 6 times in one hour long show.

The downside--i want to Tivo my life. i'm in the car, i miss something on the radio, i think, "Tivo back!" i'm in the theatre and somebody laughs or my son talks and i miss a line, i think "Tivo!" i think of a witty remark a little after the fact--yup, "Tivo..." So, along with the theory i've had for years that life would be easier with a soundtrack (i could just listen to the music and know, "Oh crap, it's gonna be a bad one today--") i now have the feeling i should be able to Tivo past the garbage.

Other pipe-dreams: that once i organize something it would magically stay organized; that my house would finish itself (i'd offer to help it paint!) or that my good eating intentions would count for enough that the Skinny Fairy would say, "Oh, honey, that's good enough!" and send my lifelong companion the Fat Fairy packing with her big fat suitcase forever.

i'm sure there are many more pipe-dreams i could list, but i'm getting depressed thinking about it.