Today i was less stressed about going to class--i realized just how anxious i was yesterday about attending these--will i fail and become a pain management drop out? Will i laugh during relaxation and get sent to whatever is the equivalent of a pain management principal? Will i accidentally have a little body mis-sound during circle time meditation and the other kids will laugh at me?
But today i felt a little less like a newbie--say a day less. i'm still having a hard time ignoring my pain and not talking about my pain but pulling out my notebook journal every hour to WRITE about my pain...
The doctor had me raise my medication just a half an original patch's worth, so now i'm at 62 mcg. i've already been so tired, but today i either had a totally awesome meditation/relaxation time, or i'm just so picking exhausted that i was nearly asleep. Snoring is bad enough, but i tend to talk in my sleep, and sometimes wave my hands about.
So we had 2 really good relaxation/meditation times today, and a nice walk in the beautiful blooming cherry blossoms day, and some stretching exercises plus some yoga poses. It's not exactly "Let's Get Physical" but it's probably physical enough for most of us. My balance stinks, so i was the only person who had to hold onto the counter to keep from falling over while learning to "braid walk." (Left foot across in front of right, right to normal position, left foot across behind right, and so on. Just try it! It's harder than it looks. For me anyway.)
i got to meet the psychologist today--she's this adorable little 12 year old girl. Very sweet, but it was like watching one of my kids play dress-up. For the last half hour we had an open "group" time where any of us can ask questions and bring up stuff we ordinarily can't. Everyone else was really quiet, even with a chance like that, so me being one to not waste, filled some time by asking a number of questions, ones so important i can't remember any of them right now.
i do feel a bit hopeful at this point. i hope that's not unfounded.
Thursdays are a free day for us, pain clinic is closed. i look forward to the break, even though i've only been there 2 days!