The Death Patch.

So i've successfully lived through day 1 of what i'm lovingly calling The Death Patch (Fentanyl.) i picked them up on Monday (where i managed to fit in a little trip through the wonderland that is the huuuge Michael's craft store nearby.) i nervously grilled the pharmacist.

"Um, do you know about the recall of the patches where they had cuts in them and the drug all poured out at once onto the person and they died?"

"Please repeat?" she said, looking quizzical.

"Well, i read a thing that said there were Fentanyl patches that had been cut and people died when they put them on."

"Ah!" she said, her face clearing into supposed understanding. "Don't cut them!"

"No--they got them from the pharmacy cut and didn't know, and they died. How can i be sure yours are okay?"

"They are okay," she said.

"Well, okay," i said, chewing my lip. "Where do i put the patch on my body?"

"I would put it on the upper arm."

"What if i'm wearing something with short sleeves? Can i put it somewhere else it won't show?"

She gave me a quick up-and-down and said, "Well, it needs to be somewhere there is muscle to absorb it."

i see the problem. Not a lot of visible muscle. "Okay."

i bled her for any information i could think to ask, and then read all the tiny print on the pamphlet that came with it when i got home. i didn't understand a lot of it, but i read it. Can't say i didn't make an effort to be an informed consumer.

Once i'd read everything as thoroughly as i could, squinting to decipher the itty bitty print made for very young eyes (mine are not,) i pulled a patch from the package. Out came one of those "tear here" sort of packs. Inside was a sandwich (except if you can't cut them you probably shouldn't eat them either) of clear plastic, a smallish clear sticky patch in the middle. Heeding the "do not touch the sticky side it's full of nasty chemicals" warnings, i carefully (and paranoid-ly) put it on my upper arm. i patted it off and on all day reminding myself of its presence.

But i have survived. It is now the second day. i am to change it each third day. We shall see. i am still hoping for some relief of the constant burning ache in my body.

My hubby worries about me being so forthcoming with this sort of personal information, the ins and outs of my medication trials. But i told him, "the few people who read my blog sort of regularly are either friends or family, and most of the others seem to have dealt with some sort of chronic pain of their own." And therefore i excuse my tendency for the therapeutic blog blurt.

The thing is, i find this journey down Drug Lane to be a fascinating one. Will this next one end up in a happy meadow where all things are sunny and good? Or will i just end up face first in another cow-pie, like the last 2 things i tried?

So, please feel free to walk along with me, just watch your step.