Sunday, January 27, 2008

Just me.

Not exactly sure why, but i have not felt like writing. i suppose it has something to do with the fact that i've changed pills yet again and so am having to go through the adjustment process again. This seems to mean extreme fatigue (which is what i thought i already had, but apparently it can be worse) which leads to a lack of the will to do much of anything. Therefore i do as little as possible--laundry, make pancakes for dinner, clean the occasional bathroom. i realize this makes me appear to be pretty much a useless lump, but i guess it's just part of the process. Hopefully this new go-round of medication will not leave me with shortness of breath and hot flashes, as did the last. And as much as i enjoyed the appetite suppressant side effect of the medication, feeling like i couldn't catch my breath was a bit of a bummer.

i had pretty much decided i would just hand over my ticket and take the ride and see where i ended up, see if it was a ride worth staying on and going round a few more times. i've pretty much decided i'm okay looking like a lump and doing little but knit and the few aforementioned chores. i guess my giving into my body wishing to hibernate and come out sometime Spring after next is somewhat weird to those around me, though, giving off the appearance of being the walking dead. i just have such short spurts of energy to use. Who wants to use those folding towels and cleaning bathrooms?

So hopefully i'll be back to myself one day--oh wait! This isn't "an interruption" of my true life, this is my true life right now. i honestly didn't think i could feel a whole lot lower than i did!

i need to find my inner Pollyanna.


equichick8 said...

Dear Julie,
I've been reading Pollyanna and I think you should maybe try reading it too. Who knows? Perhaps it will change an outlook or two. I mean, it's just a book, but hope is everywhere, right?

see ya

Anonymous said...

Is starbucks on your list of chores that you can do? Cuz I got a card and I know how to use it! Just let me know. I miss you and I think something hot will do the trick.

Unknown said...

Just don't you forget, you have a friend in your corner that has been there and done that with the meds and adjusting them :-p I have lived the lump on a log type of lifestyle and many days still do. I am here in my little corner cheering you on and sending you all of the positive energy I can muster up.I never did have a problem with sharing.

Big hugs, and know that when you feel like writing, we will be here to read.