My sister's been everywhere lately: in the whimsical cosmos flowers she loved that i see alongside the road, in the things that make me think "Oh! i need to remember to tell Patti about this!" In the stories i tell new friends. In a song on the car radio.
A few days ago i was sitting in a parking lot listening to the radio, and my ears caught the words, "I still need you. I still miss you." and my heart answered Yes I Do! The song was "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton, and sounds like a song about a lost love. But then i guess my sister is a sort of "lost love," i mean, i loved her, and now i've lost her on this earth.
The words "I still need you. I still miss you." struck deeply. And my heart attached itself to the song. So i looked it up on You Tube when i got home. The sad bit is, Vanessa, no matter how talented i think you are, you whine when you sing, and at 58 perhaps i no longer have the patience for whiny singing. i'm sorry.
So i went on a You Tube hunt.
i watched videos of other artists singing the song, including a prepubescent boy named Jared Cardona (nicely done!) a collaboration by musician Alex Goot and the Boyce Band (i'd never heard of either, but they are on iTunes so they must be real, right? Anyway, a beautiful version of the song) and a version done by a band called The Directive (metal-ish? very loud and aerobic and fun and actually quite good!)
It was time well spent--i was feeling slightly guilty for doing so little Of Importance like ______ (fill in the blank with any of the eight million projects/chores/etc i could be doing.) But i'm learning, this grief is good. i still need her. i still miss her. i've never been a fan of pain of any sort, emotional or physical, but the pain just builds up if i don't express it.
Anyways, good song, look it up.
Skimmer's Recap: "And i still need you, And i still miss you, And now i wonder If i could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass me by? Cause you know i'd walk a thousand miles if i could just see you tonight." Well said, Vanessa Carlton.
