Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Apricot Thoughts.

The bible verse that kept me going during my recent Fentanyl withdrawal experiment was the one about the vine and the branch, where Jesus says, "I am the vine and you are the branch. If anyone remains in me and I in them, he will bear much fruit. Without me you can do nothing." (That's a loose-ish paraphrase of John 15:5.) While i was feeling so detached from life i needed to feel attached still to my Creator, so i would repeat it but from my end of it: "You are my vine, i am your branch." It's yet another version of something i've said to God in the past while going through what seemed an impossible situation: "i may not be able to see You right now, but i will not turn my back on You."

You see, i remain aware of His thoughts toward me, and his persistence in loving me even when i don't seem to be able to carry off my end of the deal. Sometimes simply voicing that desire for connection with God has helped me hold on.

Anyway, later in reading a random bible verse i read something written by the apostle Paul to the Christians in Colosse, "Let your roots grow down into Him and draw up nourishment from Him so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught." (Colossians 2:7.) These thoughts meshed for me. i choose to remain attached to the vine that is Jesus, and that is because i will then stay rooted to the source of nourishment, and will stay strong.

Recently i picked apricots from my daughter's tree with the help of her two girls, Haley and Cassidy. A few branches here and there had been broken away at their place of connection to the bigger tree. The only apricots they held were stunted and dried up, inedible. Other branches were heavy with apricots, growing vigorously from their solid connection to the tree, and were ripe and plump and beautifully colored.

Even i get the visual there--remaining strongly rooted to the source of nutrients grows plentiful, enjoyable fruit. The interruptions of life that we may let break us away from the tree causes dryness and immaturity of fruit.

Good stuff.

Skimmer's recap (and no, hubby of mine, i cannot set this blog up to send you only the skimmer section, sorry--): Attached to the tree= healthy growth. Not attached=little growth if any growth at all.


Hinsley Ford said...

I like this post too! I am glad to be back and reading today. I don't read the Bible much anymore, so I keep it simple with my daily reminders of faith. I pray and give thanks throughout the day...any boon, I say thanks. I notice the roof and say thanks. Running water? I give thanks. On those days when faith is trickling like a river, I think about the mustard seed. If I can drum up just enough faith to be the size of a mustard seed, I consider myself in decent stead. I am praying for strength and the stability to get through these very difficult days b/c of the foreclosure, etc.

Thank you for that passage. Anything helps in this grand hope that I can keep at it.


julia said...

Crap! i'm so behind in blog-land that i didn't even know you were going thru a foreclosure! i need to get caught up.

Giving thanks is a positive connection to the giver of life. i know that some days the best i can hope for is to tell God "i am holding on." Sorry to hear you're in such a tough spot.