Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Happy birthday, somewhere--

Today is March 10. It's my brother's birthday. Though i haven't seen him since some time in 1989, when March 10th rolls around i remember.

It's not that he's dead, at least not to my knowledge. All i know is when i sent his Christmas present in 1989, it came back. "Return to sender: Moved No forwarding address."

He was my big brother, the one to go straighten out the kid at the playground who knocked me off the monkey bars. We were never really close, he and my sister were closer in age and more into the same things at the same time. He was in a garage band, she was into the boys around the band. Stuff like that. i was nearly 4 years younger than my sister but he was separated from her by only 2 years. While he was rockin' the rebellious hair, i was in awe of the first girl in my 5th grade class to wear a bra. Widely different places in life.

i don't guess i was too surprised at his leaving the family. Our father had recently died, my sister and brother had stopped communicating with our mother, and even when we'd all shared the same house we were far from the Cleavers. Heck, the Addams Family was more the All-American family than we were. (And their house was way cooler too.)

We three children all had our issues with our parents, not an uncommon thing in a family. But i've never understood my brother leaving us. My sister and i are still close, perhaps closer as we've gotten older and realized we Did Good surviving the chaos with still liking each other.

i will probably never know why my brother left with no forwarding address, but at least once a year, on March 10th, i stop and remember the big brother i once had who gave the kid at the park the what-for to stand up for his little sister.

Happy birthday, Michael, somewhere!


Connie said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I was talking to my daughter earlier about looking at the exterior of homes, or knowing the people, and thinking they "had it all". Not so, I fully believe in every family there is a situation like this and maybe we will never know.
My grandmother came over from Ireland with her 7 sisters and brothers. One day, so I'm told one of them left the house, never to return. Sounds like he just didn't want to be found. Maybe someday he will appear back in your lives ``you never know. Life can be a puzzle sometimes. We can just say a prayer for him.

julia said...

Life is DEFinitely a puzzle! Overall i've let myself let him go since he doesn't wish to be part of our lives, but once a year i allow myself to grieve. It helps.

MsCatMinder said...

Imagine having a sister like you and letting her go ? ( I can't... strange the things that happen .... hope he shows up one day ).... Hold onto your memories in the meantime x

julia said...

You are the sweetest!! It took me some time to arrive at "his loss." Thanks for your kind words. :-)